Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
