hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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