what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
