Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
