I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
