oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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