so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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