I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
