so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize