from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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