it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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