I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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