oh god the rape fog is back!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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