dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
