Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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