my mouth tastes like poor choices
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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