hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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