He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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