we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
