And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
