can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
