im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
