then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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