Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
