So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
