it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
