Don't you send me to vm
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
