At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
