so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
do nipples grow back?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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