i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize