you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
