i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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