walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He had one of those small greek statue penises
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize