Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
