Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
