God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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