Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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