I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
