had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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