dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Im part way to drunk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
