Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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