i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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