hell yes lets make some ravioli
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
