Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
