Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
home. puking in laundry basket.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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