OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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