I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
