i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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