yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
