I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
then he tried to convert me to islam
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
