I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
