you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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