Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
