Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Found your dick twin last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
