Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
